Sunrise/Sunset - A beautiful Wedding

The lovely alter

---

It is hard to believe that a full year has passed since my oldest son got engaged. There were so many discussions about the venue, the options, the activities, the finances, the guests, the wedding party. It seems we spent an entire year thinking, planning, discussing and anticipating the big event.

Then, in a blink of an eye, it was only a few days before the event and the house guests started to arrive. How did we get to this point? I just couldn't fathom that the time had come. But it had. Only a week before the big day, I developed a knee injury that caused me serious pain and inability to bend my leg. Now I had new worries, "How will I be able to walk down the aisle with my son"? "Will I be able to have the son/mother dance"? "How will I withstand the "Welcome Event" and the entire wedding reception if I am in pain, limping, in a cast, etc."

Brief interlude about aging

Well, the good news is that it turned out to be an arthritic flare up, and not a more serious tendon or ligament tear. With heavy duty anti-inflammatories, icing, a compression brace, a heavy-duty brace for more intense activities, and laying off all my hiking, resistance training, and golf, the pain became less intense, and I realized the big day would not be ruined after all.

I have to say, being in the third act of life (over 60 but not yet "old"), has its challenges. I didn't know I had arthritis, I am just used to have aches and pains in my joints and back but figured everyone my age had it too. Well, one visit to the orthopedic doctor and I now know I have pretty severe arthritis. I was advised that I can continue with all my activities, but I need to modify m weightlifting to never bend the knee past 90 degrees, no more leg extensions, avoid one-legged strengthening, but at least I don't have to stop. They also recommended using hiking poles, which can help distribute some of the tension on the knees when hiking downhill. I also got a pretty large brace to wear when playing golf. It is so thick that it will not fit under my more tight-fitting pants. I tried it once and my knee still was very sore, so I'll have to see if I need to give it more time before starting that up again.

I was very frustrated by the whole experience. I was doing what we are told is good for you, exercising, strength-training, getting outdoors and hiking with friends. Yet, it felt like that very routine was going to doom my wedding experience. Luckily it didn't do that, but it sure sucks and now I need to reassess my activities and how I can safely engage in them to avoid a further flare up. Like with everything else I do, I am researching it, consulting with others, and will eventually figure it out.

Back to my beautiful wedding experience

We first had my husband's family over to stay with us, that is 7 guests! It was so wonderful to get a few days before the craziness of the wedding to spend talking and enjoying each other in a low-key setting.

The wedding was in San Francisco, so we stayed in a hotel near the wedding venue. We had the rehearsal the day before, had a lovely walk through of the ceremony and our son and his fiancée treated us all to a lovely Mexican lunch at a nearby restaurant. We then had the big "Welcome" event for all the wedding party and guests who had arrived that day. It was held at fun venue where there was a large bar, pool table, table bowling, corn hole and lots of passed food and heavy appetizer buffet. It was so joyful, fun, lively and such a great way to see all our guests in a more informal setting. I was able to talk with the various different groups of invitees and felt so much love and support.

Now, the wedding day was finally here. My husband and younger son joined with the male wedding party crew at a separate location to party and dress and get photos taken. I joined the women wedding party crew getting our makeup and hair done. My daughter-in-law's friends and family are so sweet, welcoming, funny, fun and silly. They were in their matching pajamas; we all got fuzzy slippers from the bride and just had a blast primping and then taking photos. I was an "outsider", but they made me feel like I still belonged.

The ceremony went off perfectly. The officiant, my son's close friend and the bride's cousin, gave a wonderful speech that started my tears, followed by my son's self-written vows - that opened the floodgates, closed out by beautiful vows from the bride. They both were so well-spoken, thoughtful and are clearly starting their new life together on equal footing. It is hard to describe the great satisfaction, fulfillment and peace that I felt when they floated back down the aisle as a married couple.

The reception was a truly great party -- which is exactly what my son wanted, and his wife planned perfectly. From wonderful food to a gorgeous venue, to great music and the ever-fun-filled speak-easy with live photographer photobooth. Everyone had such a great time, and the love and joy overflowed the entire evening.

My husband, son and I were asked to give speeches, along with the bride's parents and sister. I shared a few stories, and feelings about what it was like to be a mom to my son. At about age 5, he heard my anguish at being away on business trips, and how my heart filled up when I returned home to him. "I know Mommy" he said, "kids make your heart be alive." He really did understand, and he continues to make my heart feel alive. All the attendees seemed to really resonate with that sentiment.

The wedding week ended with my older sister and brother-in-law staying with us for a few days. I am so grateful that they visited as it extended the aura of the wedding love and joy for a few more days. This will truly be one of the most memorable times of my life, one that I cherish and feel so blessed, lucky, and grateful to have experienced.

I feel like my retirement has started a whole new phase, one that includes a daughter who brings joy and a spirit of adventure to our whole family. Living our best lives!